Sunday, January 20, 2013

Nothing Else Matters.

There is absolutely nothing I cannot face with God by my side, in my life, by his grace, mercy and unconditional love. The truth is I'm not afraid nor fearful of whats to come, perhaps a little timid, scared, but with a great cause. The thought of not ever seeing you again, the day you will be completely out of my life, forever--what will become of me? I will never see you again, ever. My worst thought would be to lose you, my loved ones, the ones I've loved and/or love I can't begin to fathom the thought. I've seen death right before my eyes, felt it, experienced death with my own life; unpleasant departures. My days seem much longer with time, with the thought that you will disappear from me forever. How can this be true? How? This was not how it was supposed to play out. I loved you then, love you now, and I will forever love you with the same love, and more for all eternity. You will live in my dreams, always. You took my heart,  you have my heart, and you'll have it until I stop breathing. It's yours and nothing or no-one could ever take that away, ever. I've loved you for all of my life, even when I didn't know, because you were meant for me and I for you, you were created for me, my soul-mate. In love with you--from the beginning 'til the end. Yes, someone loved you, loves you that much, and that someone is me. If you must know, you had my heart before any other, you were always before them. I love you, darling; Forever, and Always. Always, and all with the love God has given me up until this very moment. I'm so very sorry for all the awful things I've ever said or done to hurt you, that only God knows I'm guilty of because I was angry, hurt and/or upset. I'm so very sorry. How could someone ever hate another whom they truly love with all that they are, with their whole being, their entire existence? I couldn't. My heart....

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Second Chances

Chances that turn into a million too many insanely choices: If something or someone you left alone, avoided because of its bitter taste, and you knew at the time with all that you know this would seem almost too impossible to change or improve yet you still held onto hope and proceeded to believe, while keeping in mind the whole logical reason you left it to begin with was because it was soul crushing, unbalanced, unhealthy yet you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and receive it back into your life, to give it another shot, another try, however the taste is still the same after all this time, after everything, yet, still no change----why keep it, or continue to pursue it, to endure it? There comes a point where realization kicks in, knocks at the door and helps you to understand and accept the plain fact, the truth that sometimes, somethings, people, situations in this world will never change, they're permanent, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it and definitely nothing you can do about because you've done all that you can do, been down this road more than once, etc., etc.. Eventually, the only option(s) you have or are left with are to remain, and to carry on. Time is the most valuable element in life we all posses and its something we can never replace nor regain, ever. Everything takes work and effort, but there are certain things along your journey you simply have to let up, shake off, leave alone, leave them there and carry on. Stay positive, keep doing you and work with what you've got to take you to another level of greatness, a level that will take you where you truly need to be, where you belong right now, at this very moment and on to the next. Some "second chances" are better used when used by you, give yourself a chance to renovate you to become a better you; everything else in your life will eventually fall into its place, eventually.