Monday, January 9, 2017

Maybe, just Maybe:

Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe it’s not supposed to be easy for you. Perhaps you’re one of the few that can handle tough times, hard trials and tribulations, and through it all, still choose to be a loving, compassionate, and caring person. Has it ever accrued to you it’s going how it’s going because you’re built for it. Maybe there's still a chance for you to turn things around, maybe you still have time to choose to be different. Maybe God would rather slow it all down, frustrate you, than letting things keep going as they were or to let it all keep going the way it is now and fail you. Ever thought this is your time to refine? Could it be the pieces are being put back together or into position, once again? What if all this isn't a test--there's a big possibility there's a future tailored made specifically to what’s best for you ahead, and perhaps taking it all into consideration, understanding that rushing it all could bring it to ruin. Maybe you’re as different as you feel, maybe you’ll stay strong long enough to teach people to feel the same about themselves or see things, life in your perspective. Perhaps we’ll call it love. Why not see this as what your growth looks like in this season, and be okay with knowing it’s okay to accept and love that person anyway. As long as you know you’re giving or gave it your all, and you're giving and gave the very best of you that you have to give. Keep going, keep moving, no matter what others may say or think, after all, this is your life. Don’t stress a thing. It’s going to work out because you're not going to stop but continue to put in the work. Everything will work out as it should and all for your good at the end of it all, knowing, God has your back and has the last word, and knowing, He will uphold you, keep you and sustain you.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

It's Not Rocket Science:

We all have to come to the conclusion that not every person you meet, encounter, fall in love with will have the capacity to acknowledge, understand, appreciate the goodness you may acquire. Many have grown accustom to drama, arguing, debating, and not knowing when to pick their battles. They are so used to dysfunctional relations, surroundings, upbringings so much so they don't value the simplicity of what's good and/or notice a good thing when faced with one. 

It's not rocket science--the problem is most people are too busy playing mind games, not being true to their feelings, and not owning up to what they say and so their actions speak volumes. 

Why are so many asking for something real when they can't bring real to the table? Too many running and rushing into finding love instead of letting love find them and/or learning to love themselves first before expecting others to love them. 

Maybe this is the reason why people walk around most of their lives wondering why it's so difficult to find love or why love can't find them. 

Perhaps the first thing we must learn in order to keep things in perspective and on track is to first learn to respect oneself, have some respect for others in order to receive respect in return, teach people to respect your time, how to put forth the same amount of effort as you do, learning how to keep your word followed by your actions, to always be honest and staying consistent. Loyalty abounds in rewarding results.

Love is a battle field full of fields of magical love waiting to happen. Let love happen. Love doesn't come easy and when it reaches you, it's worth the challenge, worth the sacrifice. In order to let love grow you must give it a chance to experience the electricity of two force fields emerge. Don't fight it, work it.

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Saturday, October 3, 2015

Give Yourself A Break...

I'm an empath- you may find yourself asking why - why is it so difficult to get over a situation as fast as you'd like? Well perhaps it's because you're a good person, with a good heart and with good intentions, with sincere feelings and emotions. You may be an empath. 
The best of you, your greatest, your most sensitive being and strengths were used against you---and you were utterly betrayed. It takes a lot to be able to take it all in, and possibly take more time to heal and be made whole again. So we ask ourselves, why do I feel the need to heal and feel better faster, instead of just going through the process of it all without delay? Should it matter? Yes, it does, it's your heart! 
Constantly disappointed in ourselves just because life took us for a loop and were set a few steps back. Most of us find ourselves at every waking day with disappointment knowing we are still not fully healed. Take note that for some, it may be days, months, years, however long, understand in this process of healing you have to give yourself a break from time to time, no matter how long it takes. 
You'll have your good days, bad days, and maybe more often than you like, you'll find yourself fighting daily to stay as strong and keep your head above the waters. Know not everyone is perfect and not everyone knows and understands what you're going through, they may be the ones to trigger you, it could be anything: something they said, or didn't say, something they did or didn't do. 
It could be anything that will set you off, trigger you and you loose it--right in the moment when you’re overwhelmed by anger and sadness. 
Stop, and remember how far you've come and everything you've been through that didn't kill you, completely. Unraveling the thought and understanding that, that kind of emotional damage indeed takes time. You not only were madly in love, you were wrapped in euphoria, and that's the deepest. You went from an all high to an ultimate low state. Understand this: your heart and soul were tortured. 
So give yourself a break!!!

Living Beyond Expectations

"Get clear on what your idea of a good time in this life is, and relieve yourself of feeling that you need to live up to others expectations" ~Jeannette Maw 

We're all conditioned to be expected to live by societal, cultural stand point of expectations that of society and so forth: going to college--getting married--living a particular lifestyle--rising a career--having kids, etc. 
These are all patterns, and patterns can be readjusted to your liking, it doesn't necessarily have to be to others liking but yours, to make you happy, because only YOU are in charge of your happiness and how long you obtain it. 
It's up to you and only you. Not in the car you drive, the amount you have in your bank account, nor the person whom you choose to have in your life as a partner. You can possess all these elements and still be very much unhappy. Don't be fooled and conformed into what society expects of you, rather be formed into the person you are happy and pleased with. Be the person you want to see everyday in the mirror, let life reflect from your presence, your life, of who you truly want to be and are to be. Be your happy self.
Make you happy to attract the goodness you long for and so rightfully deserve. Don't be ashamed of your status, your condition, your life-style--live the life you know makes you happy and eliminate the noise enticing you to take on an agenda that isn't for you. 
Attract what is good for you, and the desires of your heart, mind and soul. ‪#‎LOA‬ ‪#‎LawOfAttraction‬ ‪#‎GoodVibes‬

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Your Secret's Safe

Everyone has their own interpretation of what being single is all about. Some don't understand what it truly means to be single, the benefits of being "single." Many may also find it to be a very unfortunate state in life. Is the single life a state of being comfortable in a position we were taught by society to not be so comfortable in? Perhaps it's a place in ones life where you may perceive it as having an opportunity of making things more clearer in your life, clearing out the clutter, and a chance at starting anew and improving your life for the better? 

People are so easily persuaded into labeling the single status as an mishap. Ever stop and wondered the contrary? Seeing it and understanding it with a different mindset, viewing it from an different angle, with a more positive perspective? 

Limited thinkers neglect to think that being single is a 'choice' and not being someone awaiting so eagerly, while being so politely patient, waiting, sitting around to be found. No, it's completely far from it actually, it's a stance of being devoted not only to oneself but to many other aspects and good fortunes in life, not limited to just one single person other than themselves. 

What's more unfortunate than being single is being one of those people who are in and out of relationships, from one to the next, and to the next, and never giving a chance for savoring the realness of what was lost, what was broken, what ended rather than lasting as expected. They don't give themselves time enough to heal, bouncing around from one partner to another religiously. Where's the significance, the importance, the necessity of having a significant other? It's one of life's precious gifts, to be able to understand the full capacity of knowing the importance, the beauty of having someone to share your life with.

On the other hand, being single shouldn't be idealized as being idle, sitting around waiting for love, looking for love. Instead it should be about finding things to love, around you, the people that surround you in your daily life, or new people you may encounter, it's finding the time to love others, and learning to love yourself even more. Finding the time to love the life you were and are so fortunate enough to have. This kind of understanding brings about maturity, as a person, with the understanding it's a new way of life to explore and discover the greater you and what you have to offer life, and others, your value, your worth. 

Learn life has no boundaries when you are free to extend your capabilities at its fullness. Living the single life is far from being alone, rather it's about enjoying you, enjoying your own company and doing as much as you can to edify your life in a much high level of growth. Turn it around for your good, make the best of your single life, making it right for YOU, and advance into making a better version of you, while you have the chance. 

Find your passion and run with it. Focus on being your best partner. 

Leaving all what once held you behind. Find a passion that'll never run off and leave you, cheat on you, make you go astray nor disappear without a trace. 
Get in between the sheets with your passion, make love to it, cherish it, as you would a partner. Take this time to love harder, without any expectations. 
Giving freely with expecting nothing in-return.

It doesn't always have to be about seeking love to love you, no, it's about seeking what all there is to love in life and making the very best of it. And you know it'll be a kind of love that will be reciprocated because of all the effort you'll put into it. 

Have a passionate affair with a good book, great movie, best places to eat, something you love doing like going for a walk, swim, a bike ride, and so forth. Finding a passion to make you a better you and not someone else. 

Make this a time to heal from all you need healing from--travel the world if you have to. Take this time to overcome what needs overcoming even if it takes years, do it anyway. Working on making oneself whole again, facing all the rights and wrongs about you and building an empire within yourself so you can work on building an empire for your entire life. Find out what's wrong with you first before trying to find out what's wrong with others. 

Deal with you, face you--face to face, front and center. Being alone and single and attaining a stability of self awareness. Taking your chances and make this all about you, selfishly, yes. Selfishly in a sense where it's to completely work on building a better you, because it's totally necessary.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The Spark Is Out

Once a bond which tied two flames is destroyed, the flame will no longer be ignited as it once was or as it was in the beginning. You can add water, oxygen, heat to that flame, but the fire will no-longer be the same, however, it will only die out until there is nothing left but ashes. Overly obsessiveness, jealousy, lies, deception, non-reciprocated love, the lack of action and/or effort, will destroy what once was or what once could've been.

Am I saying there is no hope for true love, of course not, true love will always find it's way.

For instance, in my last, previous relationship, I knew right from the start it would've never worked, maybe only managed to get it as far as we could in order to avoid "giving up." I know now and actually pretty much knew then it would've been an unsuccessful affair--not fair to him, because he still had his whole life ahead of him while I had fortuitously lived a whole lot of mine. In a sense, I would've robbed him of potentially living his life to the fullest, or so it would be to him. Therefore, I'm okay with knowing he has moved on into his right direction, path, a new beginning, a new chapter into his new life with full possibilities tied to goals, dreams and desires. Seeing there was a 10 year gap, him being younger, it's safe to say it was a relationship built on infatuation and not true love. It was a moment of satisfaction to spark the ego and flesh. Maybe love played a part, but it wasn't strong enough to keep the spark from going out.

Will I ever love again, of course I will. Will I ever be loved again, of course.  And so will you. I am ready when it comes. I am open and willing to accept the good that is for me, that is definitely, without a doubt, meant for me. I don't want what seems to be, rather I want what is, and true; everything as it should be--we all do.

Sometimes sparks will stay ignited forever, while some sparks will die, fade away and wither into ashes. But the love, love never fades away, it's only handled differently with every different situation, with every unknown experience.

I don't believe in there only being one soulmate per person, I can trust there are more than one soulmate per soul. Love comes, love moves, love goes, and love comes again, but it never dies. Love is love. We have bonds that are no longer tied together because two souls lost each other in the game of fantasy. A true bond, will never be broken nor torn apart. 

This kind of bond I'm referring to is formed when sincere feelings of love, respect, and attraction are placed with an adventurous imagination, stability, security, connective-ness, and all these attributes are key to an successful, intimate, positive relationship--all to keep the spark ignited, and never replaced with the contrary. Placing anything else as priority will assuredly destroy the connection--anything else is a mere relationship built on pure infatuation waiting for destruction.

You can never be too careful with love but you can choose whom you will share your love with and whom you will let in. The heart wants what the heart wants, but the heart has a mind of it's own. The heart and mind work together as one and when these two are in alignment, and in agreement, you will be balanced enough to know the difference between a true, real bond verses an in-dept infatuation, of an untrue bond.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

An Unrealistic Dream

Hope. Hope is what I had when I had a dream, a dream I could see you become the man I know you were intended to be, and still, the man I know God wanted you to become, and knew you'd eventually be, because I had an indescribable faith in you. My hope was you could see the vision I carried or that somehow you could find yourself relating to it too. I could see so much potential, promise, success, so much goodness--it was almost as if the man I could see was already there, hoping you would have seen him too. The motivation, persistence and progression was nearly overwhelming. All the insecurities, the doubtfulness and dis-encouragements were completely out of sight, out of touch--no where to be found in the lake of positive possibilities. In this dream, all the past hurts, the wounds were far from us, too distant for us to know they ever existed. You began to believe in the unbelievable. I showed you a glimpse of how wonderful life could be and you allowed me to come into your sacred world and you opened up to me like no other. You see, I had this magical dream that somehow I could change you, change me, change us, for us. But then I woke up. I woke up to see you were no-longer there next to me, to share the dream, to bring the dream into reality. I realized you would've never recognized the person I had faith in. Perhaps you weren't ready to become the man you ought to be--the vision was overpowering. The faith I had in us would be, we would eventually become the 'we' we were made for and/or meant to be. No point in settling for a man in my dreams I could never come to see, meet, in this lifetime--a dream that would never come true. I learned I had to change my feelings towards you, the way I felt, all of this inside, this image I had of you, instead I decided it was time to let go and move on, not for you, but to set myself free from an unrealistic dream--a dream only I could see or ever dream of.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

I Am So Sorry...

sorry if i hurt you....

sorry if you didn't like the things i said or did

sorry if with you i always seem to put up a fight
sorry if i didn't do everything right
sorry for sometimes being far from an angel

sorry if i made too many excuses, or maybe even for a small lie
sorry if it was sometimes too difficult for quitting my vice
sorry if i wasn't too understanding of your truth, and some of your lies
sorry that my being too nice wasn't kind enough at times.
sorry for the headaches and pain, along with some tides
sorry if at times i found it hard for me to swallow my pride
sorry if i was often too blinded by anger to see your side

sorry if at times i was complicated
sorry for sometimes making you feel so frustrated
sorry i couldn't, or am not able to fight back the tears
sorry if i almost kept you away from all of your peers

sorry if i always complained about you not meeting all my expectations
sorry if at times i couldn't fight those temptations
sorry if i seemed like a joke to you
sorry if i didn't appreciate all those sweet nothings...
sorry for the things you did and were willing to do
sorry if i kept on repeating the same mistakes
sorry for saying some stupid things and for not finding the breaks
sorry i made you mad or ruined your day when mine was bad

sorry i brought the devil out of you
sorry if i screwed up being perfect for you
sorry i could never be the woman right for you
sorry if i was such an unpredictable human
sorry for not being successful at being your best friend.

sorry if my love was too strong to take in
sorry if i may have lacked meekness and instead was self seeking..
sorry if i couldn't surrender my whole being.
sorry if i couldn't help but see right through you.
sorry for not allowing you to insult my intelligence
sorry if you couldn't handle my elegance, instead you gave me negligence.. 

p.s. I'm not sorry for still loving you...

So sorry, please forgive me.


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

You Sure Can't Stay Here...

I don't understand why I get so emotionally drawn, involved and/or attached, nor can I explain why God gave me a heart like this, but He did, and there's nothing I can do to change it nor will I. Right here and now, at this point in my life where I can finally say, after so many years, I can now say I'm more happier now than I've ever been with who I am and what my life is all about in general. I've worked and am working extremely hard to keep myself well centered and grounded. As difficult and hard as it's been to get to where I am now, I will not allow anything or anyone be a negative influence in and over my life ever again. I cannot give to much of what I have to offer carelessly, and I don't intend to stop giving at any cost, however, if I'm not receiving back of what I'm willing to give and more, at some point this woman will step away, move around, and simply say, no more. There are some people, leeches that will take, and take, and take until they've completely drained you out, and sucked you dry, and won't stop until they see you almost lifeless. That being said; I will release those who've completely drained me out to the core, who are unappreciative of all that I've got to give. I hope nothing but the best for them and their continual journey. No-one deserves bad, negative vibes thrown at them, or intentionally given, and I'm definitely one who does not desire that nor tolerate such behavior. Although, we may have crossed paths for some reason or another, either way, I will cut bad ties that bind, and with the hopes that either of us learned something from the other--that there, is surely something to be grateful and thankful for, however. It's none of my business where you go from here, but you sure can't stay here. May life treat you right, may love find you always, may light surround you, and may God bless you in all. This is my life to live, my responsibility to maintain it, care for, love and nourish it, and make certain that I continue on regardless of any and all current situations and/or circumstances--moving forward, gracefully, as I should. There are no ties that bind too hard for me to untie, cut and release. I have the power to tie, bind, and unleash a bond at any time, and strong enough to keep it as long as I will allow to have it however I want it. 

Love & Light with a whole lot of Sugar & Spice---letting the spice of love and life flow, always; Follow your bliss....

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

'I Need You Because I Love You'

He asked; "what do you want?" At the time I tried to express it out the best I could, and maybe I did but not clearly enough to where he could hear me nor understand my interpretation thereof, however.

This is my answer for you now, and I hope it's crystal clear and in a way you may understand and take it all in. (And as I write this, I write this not only for you, but for others to have a clear understanding as well--whomever this reaches--ultimately, who God intended it for.)

I'm not sure if you're still interested in knowing--maybe you are, maybe not, I don't know, but since you really wanted to know then, and to eliminate any and all confusion and/or misunderstandings, please allow me to

elaborate and give a brief description and/or explanation:

In this day and age I've come to realize when asking a man what he can bring to the table is not so much financially because I've always been a woman who held her self up in all aspects, that's not to say I wouldn't mind having a companion to share life with cause clearly that is the ultimate goal of any respectful and honest woman. And please, let me correct you before you jump to any conclusions as to what I mean when I say "what do you have to bring to the table?" Is it money you may be asking yourself? No, it's so much more deeper than that. I'm in dire need of more.

I need a man who is willing to strive for excellence in every area of his life. Striving for excellence in everything he does or is placed in his possession. Excellence in his spiritual and mental life because I need someone who can draw me closer to God and not pull me away from Him. Someone who will be equally yoked with me--believers being with unequally yoked unbelievers or not walking nor being guided by the Holy Spirit is only calling out for an disruptive, corrupted and full of malice relationship. And I need some one who can challenge me mentally for knowledgeable growth, who can stimulate my mind through a profound and provoked conversation. Who understands striving for financial excellence is of significance, not because I'm a gold digger but because I'm your queen and it's your responsibility not to be a burden to me in any way shape or form. Someone who's eyes were made for me, his lips were made to kiss mine, his heart to beat for me, who needed me like he needs the air to breath. Someone who would be hopelessly devoted to me.

Someone who is sensitive enough to understand my weaknesses and my feminism and how sometimes I can be so highly emotionally sensitive, yet keep me well grounded. Someone with stability and who believes strongly in himself. Someone who's consistent, and slow to anger. 

One who has integrity in the foundation we have to build together as one for a firm and steadfast relationship. Someone I can grow with. A man who plays games and lies habitually is not my idea of a strong firm man. I need a family orientated man. A leader, a victorious man of God serving Him in pure excellence with the purpose God has for His life and the people He holds him responsible for and has entrusted him with. I won't have to worry about him being unfaithful or untruthful because knowing he has the fear of God in him will suffice. 

Someone I can respect. I cannot be submissive to a man who is not taking care of business, I must first respect him before I can be totally and completely submissive unto him; he must be worthy. He will find me or I will be found again. I never look for him because I know he'll find me. He'll find himself in me. Recognize immediately that I am his, I am the one. The connection may be unexplained but he'll always be drawn to me. God created woman to be his help-mate, but I can't help a man who won't help himself first. This may seem like a lot, and as surely I've clearly expressed it all here and am fully aware it is asking for quiet a bit but I am worth it all, and I am worth it. I truly hope this finds you well, dear, however, not limited.

And through all this; It's not because I'm picky, it's because I know clearly what I need and what I do not want.

'I need you because I love you'

I tremble at the thought of your touch that comes over me like thunder, rain falling over my skin so tenderly. I savor my lips imaging the sweet taste of you, how could I ever forget such magical showers that showered my mind, body and soul. You came and swept me away, took my heart and filled it with so much passion, brought me back to life, a life I thought had passed me by. Where did it