Your Secret's Safe

Everyone has their own interpretation of what being single is all about. Some don't understand what it truly means to be single, the benefits of being "single." Many may also find it to be a very unfortunate state in life. Is the single life a state of being comfortable in a position we were taught by society to not be so comfortable in? Perhaps it's a place in ones life where you may perceive it as having an opportunity of making things more clearer in your life, clearing out the clutter, and a chance at starting anew and improving your life for the better? 

People are so easily persuaded into labeling the single status as an mishap. Ever stop and wondered the contrary? Seeing it and understanding it with a different mindset, viewing it from an different angle, with a more positive perspective? 

Limited thinkers neglect to think that being single is a 'choice' and not being someone awaiting so eagerly, while being so politely patient, waiting, sitting around to be found. No, it's completely far from it actually, it's a stance of being devoted not only to oneself but to many other aspects and good fortunes in life, not limited to just one single person other than themselves. 

What's more unfortunate than being single is being one of those people who are in and out of relationships, from one to the next, and to the next, and never giving a chance for savoring the realness of what was lost, what was broken, what ended rather than lasting as expected. They don't give themselves time enough to heal, bouncing around from one partner to another religiously. Where's the significance, the importance, the necessity of having a significant other? It's one of life's precious gifts, to be able to understand the full capacity of knowing the importance, the beauty of having someone to share your life with.

On the other hand, being single shouldn't be idealized as being idle, sitting around waiting for love, looking for love. Instead it should be about finding things to love, around you, the people that surround you in your daily life, or new people you may encounter, it's finding the time to love others, and learning to love yourself even more. Finding the time to love the life you were and are so fortunate enough to have. This kind of understanding brings about maturity, as a person, with the understanding it's a new way of life to explore and discover the greater you and what you have to offer life, and others, your value, your worth. 

Learn life has no boundaries when you are free to extend your capabilities at its fullness. Living the single life is far from being alone, rather it's about enjoying you, enjoying your own company and doing as much as you can to edify your life in a much high level of growth. Turn it around for your good, make the best of your single life, making it right for YOU, and advance into making a better version of you, while you have the chance. 

Find your passion and run with it. Focus on being your best partner. 
Leaving all what once held you behind. Find a passion that'll never run off and leave you, cheat on you, make you go astray nor disappear without a trace. 
Get in between the sheets with your passion, make love to it, cherish it, as you would a partner. Take this time to love harder, without any expectations. 
Giving freely with expecting nothing in-return.

It doesn't always have to be about seeking love to love you, no, it's about seeking what all there is to love in life and making the very best of it. And you know it'll be a kind of love that will be reciprocated because of all the effort you'll put into it. 

Have a passionate affair with a good book, great movie, best places to eat, something you love doing like going for a walk, swim, a bike ride, and so forth. Finding a passion to make you a better you and not someone else. 

Make this a time to heal from all you need healing from--travel the world if you have to. Take this time to overcome what needs overcoming even if it takes years, do it anyway. Working on making oneself whole again, facing all the rights and wrongs about you and building an empire within yourself so you can work on building an empire for your entire life. Find out what's wrong with you first before trying to find out what's wrong with others. 
Deal with you, face you--face to face, front and center. Being alone and single and attaining a stability of self awareness. Taking your chances and make this all about you, selfishly, yes. Selfishly in a sense where it's to completely work on building a better you, because it's totally necessary.

The Spark Is Out

Once a bond which tied two flames is destroyed, the flame will no longer be ignited as it once was or as it was in the beginning. You can add water, oxygen, heat to that flame, but the fire will no-longer be the same, however, it will only die out until there is nothing left but ashes. Overly obsessiveness, jealousy, lies, deception, non-reciprocated love, the lack of action and/or effort, will destroy what once was or what once could've been.

Am I saying there is no hope for true love, of course not, true love will always find it's way.

For instance, in my last, previous relationship, I knew right from the start it would've never worked, maybe only managed to get it as far as we could in order to avoid "giving up." I know now and actually pretty much knew then it would've been an unsuccessful affair--not fair to him, because he still had his whole life ahead of him while I had fortuitously lived a whole lot of mine. In a sense, I would've robbed him of potentially living his life to the fullest, or so it would be to him. Therefore, I'm okay with knowing he has moved on into his right direction, path, a new beginning, a new chapter into his new life with full possibilities tied to goals, dreams and desires. Seeing there was a 10 year gap, him being younger, it's safe to say it was a relationship built on infatuation and not true love. It was a moment of satisfaction to spark the ego and flesh. Maybe love played a part, but it wasn't strong enough to keep the spark from going out.

Will I ever love again, of course I will. Will I ever be loved again, of course.  And so will you. I am ready when it comes. I am open and willing to accept the good that is for me, that is definitely, without a doubt, meant for me. I don't want what seems to be, rather I want what is, and true; everything as it should be--we all do.

Sometimes sparks will stay ignited forever, while some sparks will die, fade away and wither into ashes. But the love, love never fades away, it's only handled differently with every different situation, with every unknown experience.

I don't believe in there only being one soulmate per person, I can trust there are more than one soulmate per soul. Love comes, love moves, love goes, and love comes again, but it never dies. Love is love. We have bonds that are no longer tied together because two souls lost each other in the game of fantasy. A true bond, will never be broken nor torn apart. 

This kind of bond I'm referring to is formed when sincere feelings of love, respect, and attraction are placed with an adventurous imagination, stability, security, connective-ness, and all these attributes are key to an successful, intimate, positive relationship--all to keep the spark ignited, and never replaced with the contrary. Placing anything else as priority will assuredly destroy the connection--anything else is a mere relationship built on pure infatuation waiting for destruction.

You can never be too careful with love but you can choose whom you will share your love with and whom you will let in. The heart wants what the heart wants, but the heart has a mind of it's own. The heart and mind work together as one and when these two are in alignment, and in agreement, you will be balanced enough to know the difference between a true, real bond verses an in-dept infatuation, of an untrue bond.